THE SUNDAY CURRENTLY | 05

Happy Holidays guys! Oh yes, Christmas is just around the corner and it only means that it has been over a year since the last time I posted my #TheSundayCurrently, I always feel bad for not updating this blog as much as I want to but I guess I've already ran out of reasons and excuses for doing so. Again, Sorry blog.

So yeah it's here my Sunday currently.

currently..


Reading

Well, I am not sorry this time. I have been reading non-stop for a couple of months now. Good job Mai, atleast you're doing something productive aside from watching your KDRAMAs. In two months I was able to read To All the Boys I've Loved Before series, The Summer I Turned Pretty Trilogy by Jenny Han, I Believe in a Thing Called Love by Maurene Goo~just finished reading Eleanor & Park and Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell  IKR. Now reading Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan. I'm so proud of myself. Keep it up self!



Writing

Still working on my inconsistency when it comes to writing though. I'd hardly written anything, not even the Sunday currently. Just the 5th since I started it three years ago. Come on Mai!


Listening

Religiously listening to my OPM playlist on Spotify. So loving it.


Thinking

About so many things. I hate that I spend a lot of time in my head. I mean do I really have a choice? Can I really choose not to think? Easier said than done. Arggh!



Smelling

Fried Tinapa. Cooked fried tinapa and omellete for lunch. After three hours, the entire room still smells like it. It makes me hungry again. Gosh!



Wishing

The best for Me and Mikel. His TEKKEN dreams and my ICE-FAD dream. We can do it Baby!


Hoping

For an awesom 2019. Hoping that things will fall into place next year.



Wearing

Still in my sleep wear so obviously I haven't taken a shower yet.


Loving

The fact that I get to spare some time for my so neglected blog. Like I did something productive on a usually lazy Sunday.

Wanting

For December to come faster! I'm finally having a company Christmas party, yuhooo!


Needing

Money. A lot of money for my tuition fee. Fashion school why so expensive?



Feeling

Sleepy. Hungry. Lazy. But Happy. Positive. Inspired.

xoxo, Mai

Just Keep Fighting

First it was Demi then Selena, my favorite girls have been suffering from mental health issues and it made me really sad. I feel for them and for everyone who have been experiencing this battle because I, myself battled it out several times in my life. It is real and we definitely shouldn't take it for granted. I had my fair share of ups and downs through out the years and I'd say it wasn't easy. It all started when my Daddy died. My life stopped. I was so devastated and I felt like I'll never be happy and complete again. I was so broken. It happened again in college, when I didn't get into my dream university and my first love cheated on me and left me. I felt like for the second time around my world crumbled and my dreams crushed. I felt like my life was going nowhere and I was a complete loser. When I started working and became the breadwinner and guardian of my sisters, I got so exhausted. I felt like I was carrying the world on my shoulder. I tried my best. I worked really hard and put my dreams on hold. Then the two of them got pregnant. At first I felt betrayed and felt like I sacrificed for nothing. I failed as a sister and I wasn't good enough. And then I was diagnosed with Psoriasis and started working from home and lost my job twice. I was so depressed. Anxious. Helpless. I had low self-esteem. I was emotionally drained. I was constantly in a bad mood and got irritable and moody. I had difficulty getting along with and tolerating people. I had lack of motivation and interest in things. I couldn't even sleep. I'd often stay awake till morning thinking horrible things and talking to myself in my mind. I was always worried about the simplest things. My thoughts are consumed by fearful thoughts. I was afraid and worried for no reason. I felt so weak and restless. I was in a really bad place. It felt like I was in a warzone surrounded by the licking heat of flames and couldn't get out of it. That exactly how it felt.  It was hellish. Fighting your own mind, your own demon. It wasn't easy at all. But let me tell you this, no matter how hard it gets, you got it. You can always battle it out and win. Be strong and don't let it consume you. Always remember that you are the driver of your life and you'll get through the rough road. Yes, it isn’t a choice, but the way you handle it is. Don't feel bad about it, acknowledge it and accept it. Seek help and help yourself. Don't get stuck and don't feel sorry for yourself, it's not your fault, it's just a part of you. You're not alone. You are loved. You are special and you matter. Never quit on yourself, ever. Keep fighting. You can do it. We can do it.

xoxo, Mai

P.S.

If you or someone you know needs help, please call Hopeline at (02) 804-4673; 0917-5584673; and 2919 for Globe and TM subscribers.