MOTIVATION < DISCIPLINE

Few months ago I was all about sewing and designing and creating. I was so inspired and motivated. Then sh*t happened and all of a sudden they're all gone. Motivation and inspiration were nowhere to be found~and has been replaced by the desire to laze around in bed, watch Netflix and bask in all my excuses and justifications. I tried to fight it. I'm still trying. And I have been really doing my best to find them and get them back but got no luck. Until today, I talked about motivation with one of students. I asked him, what motivates you? He answered, I don't believe in motivation teacher. I asked, why? He said, because it can derail our dreams and goals. I don't rely on motivation. I don't wait for motivation. I just do it. IT HIT ME. HARD. SO HARD. I was putting all of my dreams and aspiration in the hands of motivation BUT MOTIVATION IS FLAKY. I wasn’t getting very close to achieving anything I wanted because I keep on relying on it. I always look for it. I always wait for it. And I always blame it for not getting things done. Don't get me wrong being motivated is good. But it's unreliable. It's fleeting.  If you’re always waiting around for motivation to show up, you’ll likely never reach your dreams. My student was right. You just gotta DO IT.

Dear Self,

 

Dear Mai,

You know, life can get overwhelming these days, we've been going through a tough time and I know that more often than not you're feeling hopeless. I am writing to you because I know that writing helps you calm your mind. It allows you to focus on things that you love and enjoy instead of all the bad things that are going on right now. Writing has long been your escape from the world since you can remember. When you write, you put yourself into another dimension that you forget about your own blues, uncertainties and frustrations. Writing inspires you and you really love it when inspiration kicks you. Who wouldn't anyway? After all, we all need a little inspiration to keep us on track and to keep us going~but sometimes inspiration is just so difficult to find. Too difficult that you just want to give up, let go of your dreams and just live life without purpose. You feel like you're stuck in a tiny bubble with no direction, just floating and waiting to vanish in the air. You have no where to go. Just like a stagnant water. A motionless murky puddle of water. You should know. You'd been there so many times. You are dreamer. You dream big. Your Daddy told you~ you are special and  you are capable of anything. That you can be whatever it is that you want to be. And you believe him. But there are days that you feel like it wasn't real. There are days that you feel like you failed him. That you're not capable of anything. That you couldn't be whatever it is that you want to be. I guess that's life. It's cruel. It's not always about unicorns and fairy tales. It's life. And no matter how tough you are it will hit you and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there if you let it. But I know you're tough. You're a warrior. You're a survivor. You always get up and fight for what you're worth. You keep moving forward and win. It doesn't matter how long will it takes for as long as you're moving. Always remember that every little step (no matter how little) is a step closer to your dreams. A step closer to success. So take chances. Take risks. Accept challenges. Accept failures and learn from it. Get out of your comfort zone. Get better. Do what you love. Do what makes you happy. Be inspired. Be an inspiration. Love. Love yourself. Don't just exist. Live. Live life the way you want. It's your life after all. Above all, Pray. Do your best and let God do the rest.

xoxo,

Mai