THINGS TO DO WHILE IN QUARANTINE: READING MY FAVORITE BOOKS

I haven't been updating my blog, that sucks. The last post I had was about a year back. No, I wasn't busy, I actually have all the time in the world but sadly my laziness and inconsistency rule all the fvckin time. Sorry guys. Yes, again. Ok, let's get over that and let me just ask you guys, if how have you been doing? I know that we've been going through a tough time and I just hope that all of you are doing fine, safe and sound at home. As for me, I'm doing great, yeah, a bit bored but you know this home quarantine thingy isn't new for me cause I have been working from home for years now. But still, it sucks that I can't go out to visit my family and play with my munchkins. I miss them really bad. They're all in Manila while Michael and I are stuck here in Makati. I just wish I'm with them during this quarantine time. It makes me feel sad and depressed at times, I mean, I'm with the boyfriend, I do have company but it's better I guess if we're with them so I don't have to worry about them every single day. I can feel you guys, especially those who are not with their families. The boredom, anxiety, depression and all. I know, it's torture. But guys, keep in mind that aside from staying and eating healthy, we should also take care of our mental health. The good thing is, there are a lot of things that we can do to safeguard and preserve our mental health at home. Like creating a routine. Do things we want to achieve each day to create a sense of normality and productivity.

Now that we have all the time we need, we can make the most of catching up with our neglected hobbies. Or acquire new knowledge and learn new things. Why not try blogging or vlogging? cooking? learning new languages? Sketching? name it, you can try and do it. 

Also, we can now do things that we've been putting off --like binge watching our fave tv series and K dramas. Diving into books we've been wanting to read-- and speaking of reading, here I would like to share you guys some of my fave books that you can read to pass the time, beat boredom and make you happy and entertain, give you comfort and distraction while doing your part to help flatten the curve. Here you go!

1. HARRY POTTER SERIES by J. K. Rowling

2. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY  by E. L. James

3. BOOKS by John Green

4. TO ALL THE BOYS I'VE LOVED BEFORE by Jenny Han

5. BOOKS by Nicholas Sparks

6. THE TWILIGHT SAGA  by Stephenie Meyer

7. THE HUNGER GAMES SERIES  by Suzanne Collins

8. CRAZY RICH ASIANS SERIES by Kevin Kwan

9. BOOKS by Rainbow Rowell

10. BOOKS by Jojo Moyes

There you have it guys! I hope you like the books and start reading them.Hope these books help to somehow ease your worries and keep you busy until the quarantine ends. Something romantic, magical, inspiring, uplifting, light and fun to take your mind off of quarantine and before you know it, it's over. Yey!  Just hang in there, this will be over soon. Let us all pray for that. We can do it guys. We can get through this. This too shall pass. But for now, let's just be positive and be productive even if we're all stuck at home. Keep in mind that every cloud has a silver lining and there's always a rainbow after the rain. Take care, stay safe, healthy and stay at home.

P.S.
If you do not have or can't find a print book there are PDF copies online, just search for the title then PDF copy.

xoxo
Mai

Movie Review: The Fault of The Fault in our Stars

My eyes were puffy swollen from crying, my heart felt like it was being crushed and I was nearly drowned in my own pool of tears. Oh, gosh I almost died. The fault of The Fault in our stars!

Did I just blame the movie? Well, I don't really mean to. I watched it on Father's day so I was extra emotional that day. I mean it's Father's day and it's a special day for my Dad, who died of lung cancer in 2001. Probably, one of the reasons why I love the book and the movie is because of my Dad. I lost him to cancer so I can relate to it. And the reason I think, why a lot of people love it is because it plays the common denominator of everybody that been through this phase of life. It' s not just another cancer love story after all, it's actually about losing someone we love and what's life after losing them.  If the movie makes us cry, then maybe we have dearly loved someone and lose them. And watching the movie brought us back to the days we were shattered. Gus and Hazel wanted to get more numbers that they can likely get so they can make more beautiful and infinite moments with each other and with the people they love. The same way I wish my Dad had more numbers than he got so we could do the same. We are all like Gus and Hazel in a way. We all have our own battles to fight. No matter how different we may be from one another we have one thing in common. We are afraid of losing what we have.

And what can be more horrifying and worst than  losing someone we love?  It's not easy to let go of someone we want to keep for life. It was like hell. If only there's something we could do to make them stay longer but sadly there's none. A sad thing in life. We can only try and hang on but no matter what we do in the end it's still His will.  It's something beyond our control.

The movie was right. 'We can go on to an extent trying to live life in control, but really eventually fate is going to step in and we'll see that the fault is not always in ourselves.' I think that's the reason why it's called THE FAULT IN OUR STARS. The movie wants to show us that fate is fate and we can't do anything about it.  If life hands us something that we can't control no matter how hard we try, it's not our fault. It's destiny.

Quite long for an introduction huh?

Oh well, going back to the main purpose of this post (which is for me to share my thoughts about the movie along with my favorite scenes and lines) let me first tell you what happened prior to that. The boyfriend is not a book worm nor a sucker for  love story movies. I had to convince him or else I will watch the movie alone. Glad he agreed to join me. We planned to watch it as soon as it hits theaters nationwide. Why not?  It has been the talk of the town since the book version was published and the film adaptation was announced a couple of years ago. I read the book but I'm not done yet. I stopped reading when I heard the news about the movie coming out soon cause I opted to see the rest of their love story on the big screen and plainly just to avoid expectations and disappointments. Can you just imagine how long I've waited? I 'd been waiting for the movie to come out like forever and I  can't hold my excitement any longer. I even followed their facebook page and joined the count down. Oh yes, I was that excited. And finally June came. I was like so giddy. Unfortunately we didn't have time (conflicting schedules sucks) so I kinda  prolonged my agony for a few days more.  It's a good thing though cause  I still got some time to emotionally prepare myself for a potential heartache. For I know too well, that the movie was set out to massacre my poor heart or even worse. So then, just to make the story short, we finally got to see the movie last Sunday. We watched it in the afternoon and almost missed~thank goodness we got there just in the nick of time. It's as if the stars conspired so I can finally watch it. Oh yeah!

The Fault in our Stars is a  romantic comedy-drama film based on the novel of the same name by John Green. The title is inspired from an act of  Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar, in which Cassius says to Brutus:

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,  But in ourselves, that we are underlings."

Not that the book nor the movie tried to oppose it but I guess both phrases works the other way around.

“But it is the nature of stars to cross, and never was Shakespeare more wrong.-John Green

Both Green and Shakespeare are right to an extent. Like what I've said above, if life hands us something that we can't control then it's not our fault. It's in the stars. It's fate. It's destiny. On the other hand, if we are given something that can be changed for the better and we chose not to, then the fault is in ourselves. Get it?

Okay then, let's go back with the story. It is an epic love story of two terminally ill teenagers, Hazel Grace Lancaster (Shailene Woodley) and Augustus Waters (Ansel Elgort ). They met, eventually got closer,  fell in love and fought for their dear lives to somehow make their little infinity bigger. Sadly, that's all they've got. Depressing. But can I just say that their kind of love is forever. It may be short but it's infinite. Did I just drop hints about the ending? (sorry) At least I didn't tell yet who the grenade was.

I love movies with happy endings. My favorites are those that have tragic love story though. Like, Titanic, A Walk to Remember, If Only, PS. I Love You and One Day to name a few. I don't know but I am so drawn to love stories with sad ending, those kind that will crush my heart. Maybe because the best romances don’t end happily, and the greatest love stories are tragedies above all. I find sad love stories  more effective as they give me pain and the pleasure of that pain makes me want to watch them all over again.

I'm a sucker for tragic love stories so I thought after watching tons of tragic romantic tales,  I already steeled myself from the tidal wave of emotions The Fault in our Stars will give me but no, I was wrong. I was literally bawling my eyes out and laughing (like crazy) all through out the movie. I was too overwrought. It's just that, the movie was so funny, heartbreaking and tear-jerking~I couldn't help it. My tears keep falling down, as steady as the rain. I was sobbing and all those tear-soaked tissues, my tear-stained cheeks and my swollen eyes can attest to that. Hazel and Gus' love story was too heartrending, I can feel them. Call me hyper-empathetic but Gus was right,That's the thing about Pain, it demands to be felt. Oh, how I love that line.

Well then, let me give you further details (rather spoilers) and show you some of  the scenes and the lines (almost all) I love most in the movie. As much as I want to keep the details under wraps until everybody got to watch it, I just can't. Lols!  I just feel the need to share it  (it's my blog anyway). It's going to be a major spoiler so if you haven't seen the movie yet stop reading. But if you don't mind, keep scrolling and get ready to cry with me. Ooops, don't forget to get your tissue boxes ready!

Hazel lying in the grass staring up at the stars, narrating the story. While scenes of her and Gus' little infinities are flashing.

"I believe we have a choice in this world about how to tell sad stories. On the one hand, you can sugarcoat it. When nothing is too messed up that can’t be fixed by a Peter Gabriel song. I like that version as much as the next girl does, it’s just not the truth. This is the truth” -Hazel

The support group. Gus stares at Hazel and smiles, gosh, his smile is to die for~I so love it. He's so handsome. Patrick asks Augustus how he's feeling and he said:

"I’m on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend."-Gus

“There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you. Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever. There was time before organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be time after. And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. God knows that’s what everyone else does.” -Hazel

After the meeting, Hazel waits for her mom, and Gus comes out to chat with her. They see Isaac and Monica making out and groping each other, then repeating "Always" to one another. Gus explains to Hazel that this is their way of saying they'll always love each other. He asks Hazel her name and tells her she's beautiful. He then puts a cigarette in his mouth, which upsets Hazel because it has ruined her impression of him. Gus explains that he never smokes the cigarettes he puts between his teeth so as to not give the killing item any power.

“It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing.” -Gus

They stay talking until 1:00 AM. Hazel decides it's time to hang up. "Okay," Gus responds. "Okay," Hazel says back. Gus decides that "Okay" can be their "Always".

'Maybe 'okay' will be our 'always'-Gus

Gus tells her that he spoke to the Genies and convinced them to grant him the wish of taking Hazel to Amsterdam. Isn't Gus the sweetest? Oh my.

She calls Gus and expresses her sadness. He comes over and they sit on the swings. He tells her that her keeping her distance from him does not lessen his affection toward her. She compares herself to a grenade and that she will blow up and destroy everything in her wake. But Gus said he wouldn't mind to be hurt by her. Still, not wanting to hurt Gus, Hazel decides they ought to remain friends.

"I'm a grenade. And one day I'm going to blow up, and obliterate everything in my wake. And I don't want to hurt you."-Hazel

“Oh, I wouldn't mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”  -Gus

They go to a Dutch restaurant, Oranjee. Gus proudly declares his love to Hazel, which puts a big smile on her face.

"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.” -Gus

They get up to the floor with a vocal recording of Anne Frank's diary. As the voice talks about capturing beauty, Hazel and Gus share their first kiss. That kind of kiss! Heartfelt.

They go back to Gus's room and make love for the first time. Hazel leaves him with a drawing of the large virgin circle, and the circle of 18-year-old boys with one leg outside that big circle. Breaking free in Amsterdam!

“I fell in love with him the way you fall asleep, slowly and then all at once,” -Hazel

They sit on a bench and Gus tells her that when she was in the ICU, he felt a pain in his hip and got a PET scan. Hazel already knows what he's going to tell her. Gus says the scan "lit up like a Christmas tree", and the cancer returned and spread through his body. Hazel puts her head on his shoulder and cries. Gus tries to lighten the mood by suggesting they make out.

“The world is not a wish-granting factory.” -Gus

Hazel and Gus hang out with Isaac, who is now completely blind and tells them that Monica hasn't spoken to him since the break-up. To cheer him up, Hazel and Gus buy eggs, and they go to Monica's home and pelt her car with eggs.

Gus calls Hazel in the middle of the night to ask her to come to the gas station to help him. She drives over there to find him sitting in his car, covered in his own mucus and vomit, with an infection in his abdomen from the G-tube. Hazel starts to call for an ambulance, despite Gus's pleas. The ambulance arrives and takes Gus away. This scene makes me cry even harder. Poor Gus!

Hazel takes him to Funky Bones for a picnic. He expresses his desires to have left an impact on the world before he dies and his need to live an extraordinary life. Hazel takes offense to it and tells him that he doesn't need to do all that because she and his parents love him and that it should be enough. He says he's sorry and they drink champagne. This scene, while crying I told the boyfriend how tragic their love story is and he agreed. I feel sorry for them. *sigh*

“You say you’re not special because the world doesn’t know about you, but that’s an insult to me. I know about you.”-Hazel

The Mom and daughter hug is the sweetest. A tender moment between Hazel and her mom. Nothing beats a mother love.

“NO!” “I’m not eating dinner, and I can’t stay healthy, because I’m not healthy. I am dying, Mom. I am going to die and leave you here alone and you won’t have a me to hover around and you won’t be a mother anymore, and I’m sorry, but I can’t do anything about it, okay?!”-Hazel

“Even when you die, I will still be your mom, Hazel. I won’t stop being your mom.”-Mrs. Lancaster

Hazel joins Gus and Isaac at the church for what is a "pre-funeral" for Gus, since he wants to attend his own funeral. Isaac starts off a eulogy with a touch of humor, but says that if he ever is given "robot eyes", he would deny them because he doesn't want to see a world without Gus. Hazel goes up and starts to talk about her love story with Gus before saying that there are infinite numbers between 1 and 0, and that there are countless infinities, and that she is thankful for their infinity. They both say "I love you" to each other one last time. Literally sobbing at this part. So that's how it feels like to attend you funeral huh. More tissue please!

"When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him.”-Isaac

"Augustus Waters was the great star-crossed love of my life. Ours was an epic love story, and I won't be able to get more than a sentence into without disappearing into a puddle of tears. Gus knew, Gus knows. I will not tell you our love story because like real love stories~it will die with us at it should. I'd hope that he'd be eulogizing me, because there's no one I'd rather have. I can't talk about our love story so I will talk about Math. I am not a mathematician but I know this; There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2 or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But Gus, my love, I can not tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I am grateful." -Hazel

Gus dies eight days later. The Lancasters receive a phone call in the middle of the night to hear the news. Hazel's parents walk into her room, and without a word, she knows what it is and she begins to cry. She recalls a time when undergoing treatment and the nurse asked her to rate her pain on a scale from 1 to 10. Hazel said 9, and the nurse said she was a fighter for calling a 10 a 9. She says that she was saving her 10 for this sort of occasion. Well, Hazel is right.“It was unbearable, the whole thing, every second worst than the last,”. I'm bawling like I'm Hazel, like I feel the pain she's feeling. And yes, I feel her. I am very low on tissues. Come on!

"I called it a nine because I was saving my ten. And here it was, the great and terrible ten."-Hazel

That Daddy and daughter heartfelt talk made me miss my Dad even more. *Sob violently*

“I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is inprobably biased toward the consciousness, that it rewards intelligence in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed. And who am I, living in the middle of history, to tell the universe that it-or my observation of it-is temporary?”- Mr. Lancaster

Gus's voice reading her letter/eulogy, saying that he saw Hazel in the ICU while she slept, and how he thought about them together. He expresses his admiration for her beauty and personality, and adds that people can choose who hurts them. Gus liked his choice, and he hoped Hazel liked hers. He closes it with "Okay, Hazel Grace?"

The film ends with Hazel still looking up at the stars, replying, "Okay."

“Van Houten,

I’m a good person but a shitty writer. You’re a shitty person but a good writer. We’d make a good team. I don’t want to ask you any favors, but if you have time – and from what I saw, you have plenty – I was wondering if you could write a eulogy for Hazel. I’ve got notes and everything, but if you could just make it into a coherent whole or whatever? Or even just tell me what I should say differently.

Here’s the thing about Hazel: Almost everyone is obsessed with leaving a mark upon the world. Bequeathing a legacy. Outlasting death. We all want to be remembered. I do, too. That’s what bothers me most, is being another unremembered casualty in the ancient and inglorious war against disease.

I want to leave a mark.But Van Houten: The marks humans leave are too often scars. You build a hideous minimall or start a coup or try to become a rock star and you think, “They’ll remember me now,” but they don’t remember you, and all you leave behind are more scars. Your coup becomes a dictatorship. Your minimall becomes a lesion.(Okay, maybe I’m not such a shitty writer. But I can’t pull my ideas together, Van Houten. My thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into constellations.)

We are like a bunch of dogs squirting on fire hydrants. We poison the groundwater with our toxic piss, marking everything mine in a ridiculous attempt to survive our deaths. I can’t stop pissing on fire hydrants. I know it’s silly and useless – epically useless in my current state – but I am an animal like any other.

Hazel is different. She walks lightly, old man. She walks lightly upon the earth. Hazel knows the truth: We’re as likely to hurt the universe as we are to help it, and we’re not likely to do either.
People will say it’s sad that she leaves a lesser scar, that fewer remember her, that she was loved deeply but not widely. But it’s not sad, Van Houten. It’s triumphant. It’s heroic. Isn’t that the real heroism? Like the doctors say: First, do no harm.

The real heroes anyway aren’t the people doing things; the real heroes are the people noticing things, paying attention. The guy who invented the smallpox vaccine didn’t actually invented anything. He just noticed that people with cowpox didn’t get smallpox.

After my PET scan lit up, I snuck into the ICU and saw her while she was unconscious. I just walked in behind a nurse with a badge and I got to sit next to her for like ten minutes before I got caught. I really thought she was going to die, too. It was brutal: the incessant mechanized haranguing of intensive care. She had this dark cancer water dripping out of her chest. Eyes closed. Intubated. But her hand was still her hand, still warm and the nails painted this almost black dark blue and I just held her hand and tried to imagine the world without us and for about one second I was a good enough person to hope she died so she would never know that I was going, too. But then I wanted more time so we could fall in love. I got my wish, I suppose. I left my scar.

A nurse guy came in and told me I had to leave, that visitors weren’t allowed, and I asked if she was doing okay, and the guy said, “She’s still taking on water.” A desert blessing, an ocean curse.
What else? 

She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers."Okay, Hazel Grace?"-Gus

Did I just recapitulate the movie? When I said I'll share my favorite scenes, didn't I say I'll share most everything? Oh gosh, I should really stop remembering the scenes that made me burst  into tears  now before I suffocate myself into my own puddle of tears once more. Cause quite frankly, I can barely even recap all the scenes without tearing up. Watching most of the scenes in the movie were like a punch to the heart by Manny Pacquiao and to go through them again definitely means torture. Oh well, enough with the scenes and the lines. Let's talk about the lessons learned.

Overall, the movie was  over-the-top flamboyant. It's the most poignant of all. It inspires me and taught me multiple moral lessons. It's an eye-opener that helps me appreciate the people I love even more.  It makes me realize that nothing in this world is certain, nothing is forever but love. And most of all it gives me a deeper sense of gratitude and appreciation for life and all the little things.

Yes, life can be so mean at times, it can gives us a cookie and takes it away but still we have to be thankful of  what it gave us and of what we have.  As what Peter Van Houten taught Gus and Hazel, some infinities are bigger than other infinities. Theirs wasn't big at all but they are happy and thankful with their little infinity. Life is transitory it doesn't last forever, but with the time that is given to us, we can find some sort of purpose. Know it and accept it. After all, life is all about acceptance.

Life is pain but it doesn't have to be always a bad thing because some lessons in life are best learned through pain. We are all vulnerable and we all know that pain is inevitable but we must know that suffering is optional. Whether or not we suffer is our choice.

Life doesn't always give us good things, but we can still feel good when we live it in a way we want. So let us choose the life we really want and live it to the fullest. For we only live once, but once is enough if we live it right.

There’s so much more I want to share but I think my post is now too long and can already make a massive tome. Lols. I'm sorry for the word vomit. It's just that the movie excites me that much. It left me with too many emotions (you can probably tell I haven't recovered yet from last week's bawling, weeping, sobbing and all) all at once that I couldn't even put into words. Random thoughts keeps popping up in my head but my fingers can't keep up with them anymore. Perhaps, I need Peter Van Houten's help to make my post quite writerly. You think?

Did my (super long) post broke your heart, stole all your tears and got you dehydrated? Well, you'll get more if you watch it.  I hope my post get you psyched to see it. Go watch it, don't you dare miss the greatest love story ever told. Don't be left out. And oh, again keep a box of tissue handy. I mean boxes. Okay? Okay.

Must Read: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” 

― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Current read. I so love the book and I can't wait to see the movie. Some of my friends watched the movie already and they told me that~the movie stayed loyal to the book. Sounds great. Oh, Thursday come faster, I wanna see the movie~ really. I'd been waiting for this like forever and finally it's here. Yey! Who wouldn't love to see it anyways? 

And for those who haven't read the book yet, you guys should grab your own copy now. It's a must read. The movie maybe out now but reading the book won't hurt. Well, that's if you love to read, like me. Of course. 

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green (according to wiki)

The Fault in Our Stars is the fifth novel by author John Green, published in January 2012. The story is narrated by a sixteen-year-old cancer patient named Hazel, who is forced by her parents to attend a support group, where she subsequently meets and falls in love with the seventeen-year-old Augustus Waters, an ex-basketball player and amputee.

The title is inspired from Act 1, Scene 2 of Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar, in which the nobleman Cassius says to Brutus: "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, / But in ourselves, that we are underlings."

Plot

The story takes place in Indianapolis, Indiana, where sixteen-year-old Hazel Grace Lancaster reluctantly attends a cancer patients' support group at her mother's behest. Because of her cancer, she uses a portable oxygen tank to breathe adequately. In one of the meetings she catches the eye of a teenage boy, and through the course of the meeting she learns the boy's name is Augustus Waters. He's there to support their mutual friend, Isaac. Isaac had a tumor in one eye that he had removed, and now he has to have his other eye taken out as well. After the meeting ends, Augustus approaches Hazel and tells her she looks like Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta. He invites Hazel to his house to watch the movie, and while hanging out, the two discuss their experiences with cancer. Hazel reveals she has thyroid cancer that has spread to her lungs. Augustus had osteosarcoma, but he is now cancer-free after having his leg amputated. Before Augustus takes Hazel home, they agree to read each other's favorite novels. Augustus gives Hazel The Price of Dawn, and Hazel recommends An Imperial Affliction.

Hazel explains the magnificence of An Imperial Affliction: it is a novel about a girl named Anna who has cancer, and it's the only account she's read of living with cancer that matches her experience. She describes how the novel maddeningly ends mid-sentence, denying the reader closure about the fate of the novel's characters. She speculates about the novel's mysterious author, Peter Van Houten, who fled to Amsterdam after the novel was published and hasn't been heard from since.

A week after Hazel and Augustus discuss the literary meaning of An Imperial Affliction, Augustus miraculously reveals he tracked down Van Houten's assistant, Lidewij, and through her he's managed to start an email correspondence with the reclusive author. He shares Van Houten's letter with Hazel, and she devises a list of questions to send Van Houten, hoping to clear up the novel's ambiguous conclusion. Hazel is most concerned with the fate of Anna's mother. She figures that if Anna's mother survives her daughter's death, then her own parents will be all right after Hazel dies. Van Houten eventually replies, saying he could only answer Hazel's questions in person. He invites her to stop by if she is ever in Amsterdam.

Shortly after, Augustus invites Hazel on a picnic. It turns out he's planned an elaborate Dutch-themed picnic where he reveals that a charitable foundation that grants the wishes of kids with cancer has agreed to grant his: he's taking the two of them to Amsterdam to meet Van Houten. She is thrilled, but when he touches her face she feels hesitant for some reason. Over time she realizes that she likes him a lot, but she knows she'll hurt him when she dies. She compares herself to a grenade.

In the midst of her struggle over what to do about Augustus, Hazel suffers a serious episode in which her lungs fill with fluid and she goes to the ICU. When she is released after a period of days, she learns that Augustus never left the hospital's waiting room. He delivers Hazel another letter from Van Houten, this one more personal and more cryptic than the last. After reading the letter, Hazel is more determined than ever to go to Amsterdam. There is a problem though: her parents and her team of doctors don't think Hazel is strong enough to travel. The situation seems hopeless until one of the physicians most familiar with her case, Dr. Maria, convinces Hazel's parents that Hazel must travel because she needs to live her life.

The plans are made for Augustus, Hazel and Hazel's mother to go to Amsterdam, but when Hazel and Augustus meet Van Houten they find that, instead of a prolific genius, he is a mean-spirited drunk who claims he cannot answer any of Hazel's questions. The two leave Van Houten's in utter disappointment, and, accompanied by Lidewij, who feels horrified by Van Houten's behavior, they tour Anne Frank's house. At the end of the tour, Augustus and Hazel share a romantic kiss, to the applause of spectators. They then head back to the hotel, where they make love for the first time.

The following day, Augustus confesses that while Hazel was in the ICU he had a body scan which revealed his cancer has returned and spread everywhere. They return to Indianapolis, and Hazel realizes Augustus is now the grenade. As his condition worsens he is less prone to his typical charm and confidence. He becomes vulnerable and scared, but is still a beautiful boy in Hazel's mind. As this change occurs, she ceases calling him Augustus and starts referring to him as just Gus, as his parents do. Hazel recognizes that she loves him now as much as ever. Augustus' condition deteriorates quickly. In his final days Augustus, arranges a pre-funeral for himself, and Isaac and Hazel give eulogies. Hazel steals a line from Van Houten about larger and smaller infinities. She says how much she loves Augustus, and that she would not trade their short time together for anything in the world.

Augustus dies eight days later. Hazel is astonished to find Van Houten at the funeral. Van Houten explains that he and Gus maintained correspondence and that Augustus demanded Van Houten make up for ruining the trip to Amsterdam by coming to his funeral to see Hazel. Van Houten abstractly reveals the fate of Anna's mother, but Hazel is not interested.

A few days later, Isaac informs Hazel that Augustus was writing something for her. He had hinted about writing a sequel to An Imperial Affliction for her, and as Hazel scrambles to locate the pages she encounters Van Houten once more. He drunkenly reveals that Anna was the name of his daughter. She died of cancer when she was eight, and An Imperial Affliction was his literary attempt at reconciling himself with her death. Hazel tells Van Houten to sober up and write another book.

Eventually Hazel learns that Augustus sent the pages to Van Houten because he wanted Van Houten to use the pages to compose a well-written eulogy about Hazel. Lidewij forces Van Houten to read the pages and sends them straight off to Hazel. The novel concludes with Hazel reading Augustus' words. He says getting hurt in this world is inevitable, but we do get to choose who we allow to hurt us, and that he is happy with his choice. He hopes she likes her choice too. The final words of the novel come from Hazel, who says she does.

“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book. And then there are books like An Imperial Affliction, which you can't tell people about, books so special and rare and yours that advertising your affection feels like betrayal” 

― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

The Walking Dead : Seasons Recap

I just watched the Walking Dead season ender last weekend and~what can I say? Well, as much as I love the series~ I'm just quite disappointed cause I was actually expecting a more intense finale (like a clash between Rick and The Governor's team plus the walkers) like what the two previous seasons had. Also, I was saddened with Andrea's death. I just can't imagine how she got bitten by Milton~given that her character is a fighter and that  she already uncuffed herself before Milton got zombie-fied. I mean, come 'on she can kick him and stab in the head before he got closed to her right? Andrea's death scene was just too impossible for me, she killed tons of walkers before and it was just Milton, just one walker! Ok fine, enough of venting out~ I'm just really sad that another main character had to bid farewell *insert sad face here*. I'm always emotional for walkers sake! I remember how I cried my eyes out when they found Sophia inside the barn, when Dale, Shane and T-Dog died and of course when Carl had to shoot Lori (did he?, I don't think so, let see) *gasp* I just hate it when someone from the group dies (even Merle). You know that feeling, when you really get too attached with the characters and feel engaged in their fates~that you just wanna be the director and say hey~no one gonna get killed, we'll have a happy ending here~how I wish! But hey! It's The Walking Dead not a fairytale~that's how it goes.

Going back, season 3 has been tremendous~though some of the major characters had to say goodbye and with the unexpected finale~ nevertheless, the whole season was a success and I surely can't wait for the next one. I'm now missing the whole cast already especially Daryl and Glenn~lols! I just want October to come fast (October come faster please). I just can't get enough and I know you guys too. We're all clueless if what's gonna happen next and what Season 4 would be like.Arghh! Anyhoo, since Season 4 is still months away~ why don't we do a recap for the benefit of those who haven't seen the series yet? Sounds great! So instead of wondering of what things might happen, why don't we just take a look back of what had been happening before that much awaited season comes. Here, let me give you the run down:

According to Wiki

The Walking Dead is an American horror drama television series developed by Frank Darabont. It is based on the Comic book series of the same name by Robert Kirkman, Tony Moore, and Charlie Adlard. The series stars Andrew Lincoln as sheriff's deputy Rick Grimes, who awakens from a coma to find a post-apocalyptic world dominated by flesh-eating "walkers", resembling zombies. He sets out to find his family and encounters many other survivors along the way. The eponymous title of the series refers to the survivors, and not the zombies.

The Walking Dead premiered on October 31, 2010, on the cable television channel AMC in the United States.It premiered internationally during the first week of November 2010 on Fox International Channels. Based on its reception, AMC renewed the series for a second season of 13 episodes, which premiered on October 16, 2011.Two episodes into the second season, AMC announced that the show would return for a third season of 16 episodes, which began airing on October 14, 2012. On December 21, 2012, AMC renewed The Walking Dead for a fourth season of 16 episodes.

The series has been well received and has received many award nominations including ones for the Writers Guild of America Award and a Golden Globe Award for Best Television Series (Drama). The series has also attained strong Nielsen ratings, surpassing various records for a cable series, including receiving 12.4 million viewers for its season three finale to become the most-watched drama series telecast in basic cable history.

Series Overview:

Based on the comic book series of the same name, The Walking Dead tells the story of a small group of survivors living in the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse. Most of the story takes place in the Atlanta metropolitan area and then the surrounding countryside of northern Georgia, as the survivors search for a safe haven away from the shuffling hordes of predatory "walkers" or "biters" (as the zombies are referred to in the show), who devour any living thing they catch, and whose bite is infectious to humans. The plot is focused primarily on the dilemmas the group faces as they struggle to balance their humanity with their survival against the zombie horde, and later, how they cope with members being killed and deal with other human survivors they encounter, many of whom are dangerous and predatory themselves.

The group is led by Rick Grimes, who was a sheriff's deputy before the zombie outbreak. At every turn they are faced with the horror of the walking zombies, the changing dynamic of their group, and hostility from the scattered remains of a struggling human populace who are focused on their own survival now that the structures of society have collapsed.

List of Episodes:

Season 1 (2010)
Main article: The Walking Dead (season 1)

The series begins with sheriff's deputy Rick Grimes being wounded in a shootout with armed criminals. He then wakes up weeks later from a coma in an abandoned and badly damaged hospital. Upon leaving, Rick discovers a post-apocalyptic world overrun with zombies (or "walkers", as they are often referred to in-show). Rick also discovers his wife and son are missing, and encounters two survivors — Morgan and his son Duane — who explain the situation to him. Acting on a rumor that the two had heard, he arms himself and begins a perilous journey to Atlanta, Georgia, where the CDC is said to have set up a quarantined safe-zone in the city. Upon reaching Atlanta, he soon discovers the city has instead been overrun by walkers.

A few miles outside the city, Rick's wife Lori and son Carl have been hiding from the walkers with Shane Walsh, Rick's partner and best friend, who has fallen in love with Lori. They have established a camp with a small group of fellow survivors. After being rescued from Atlanta by members of the group and reunited with Lori and Carl, Rick assumes command with Shane. A band of walkers eventually attacks the camp and kills several people. The remainder flee to seek aid from the CDC.

In the CDC, all but one staff member, Dr. Edwin Jenner, have either fled or committed suicide. Dr. Jenner explains that his research into the infection has not yielded a cure, and he has not been in contact with anyone for a long while. Lack of fuel for the emergency generators soon initiates the building's safety protocols, which will trigger an explosion designed to destroy the facility and prevent the escape of deadly diseases. Jenner and Jacqui, a member of Rick's group, decide to stay and end their struggle. Dr. Jenner whispers something into Rick's ear, and the group escapes just as the CDC is incinerated in the explosion.

Season 2 (2011–12)
Main article: The Walking Dead (season 2)

The second season begins with Rick and his group of survivors' escaping the CDC. They decide that Fort Benning will be their next destination. Along the way, they encounter a traffic jam of abandoned vehicles on Interstate 85. The group loots several vehicles but is forced to hide under them as a large herd of walkers approaches. A walker chases Carol's daughter, Sophia, out from her hiding spot and, with another walker, pursues her into the woods. Rick finds her but loses her again after drawing off the walkers. While searching for Sophia, a hunter named Otis accidentally shoots Carl. To get help for him, Otis leads Rick and Shane to a large, isolated farm owned by a veterinarian named Hershel Greene, then helps Shane look for medical supplies; after getting them, Shane hurts his leg and sacrifices Otis to the walkers so he can get away. The survivors then move to the farm while Carl recovers, trying to coexist with Hershel's family, but dangerous secrets and disagreements over leadership cause tensions to rise. Lori is revealed to be pregnant (she is not sure whether Rick or Shane is the father), and Glenn builds a romantic relationship with Maggie, Hershel's eldest daughter. Glenn also discovers that the barn is full of walkers, some of whom are Hershel's family members. After Shane releases the walkers to be exterminated, Sophia appears as one of them and Rick reluctantly shoots her.

Hershel disappears to grieve for his family and is found by Rick and Glenn drinking at a local tavern, where they meet two other survivors. The situation rapidly turns sour and Rick kills the two men in a gunfight. The dead men's group quickly finds and opens fire on Rick, Hershel, and Glenn at the bar. The noise attracts a large herd of walkers, and one of the attackers, Randall, is injured and left behind. Rick and the others take him back to the farm, where they realize Randall is likely to reveal the farm's location to his former group. As Rick and the others deliberate on what to do with Randall, a walker fatally wounds Dale, forcing Daryl to euthanize him. The group later conducts a search for Randall, whom Shane had secretly released and murdered in the woods. Daryl and Glenn find him — as a walker — and kill him. Daryl concludes that a broken neck caused Randall's death and subsequent reanimation, rather than a walker's bite or scratch. Meanwhile, Shane and Rick confront each other — the former having planned the fake search so he could murder Rick. Rick gets the upper hand and stabs Shane in the torso, killing him. Carl arrives just in time to see Shane revive as a walker, and shoots him down.

The gunshot attracts a large herd of other walkers, who quickly overrun the property. In the ensuing battle and escape, Jimmy and Patricia are devoured, and Andrea is left behind. Andrea survives on her own, and is later rescued by a hooded woman accompanied by chained, armless walkers. The remaining survivors regroup but are forced to make camp due to lack of gasoline. After hearing of Randall's fate, Rick finally reveals what Jenner whispered to him at the CDC: every survivor is infected with the walker virus. As the group questions Rick's leadership later that night, a large prison looms in a pan out of the final scene.

 Season 3 (2012–13)
Main article: The Walking Dead (season 3)

The third season begins several months after the group escaped the farm: Lori is in the final days of her pregnancy, during which they stumble upon an overrun prison that they begin converting into their new home. While searching the place for supplies, Hershel is bitten by a walker and Rick is forced to amputate his leg. They soon find several surviving inmates who have been trapped inside. While Rick, Daryl and T-Dog help clear a separate cell block for them to live in, most of the inmates are killed, allowing the remainder — Axel and Oscar — to join the group. A walker breakout later splits everyone up. T-Dog is bitten in the struggle and sacrifices himself to save Carol. Lori goes into labor and insists that Maggie perform an emergency Caesarean section to save the baby. The operation kills Lori, and Carl is forced to shoot her to prevent reanimation. After several days of mourning, Carl and Rick name the baby Judith.

Meanwhile, Michonne and Andrea are taken to the town of Woodbury, a safe haven from the walkers. They meet the Governor, the town's leader, and learn that Merle Dixon — Daryl's older brother — has taken refuge there as well. Michonne is immediately suspicious of the Governor and the settlement and decides to leave, but Andrea refuses to go with her. Merle is ordered to hunt down Michonne, but only manages to wound her; he subsequently captures Maggie and Glenn while they are out scavenging. Michonne, who witnessed their abduction, eventually arrives at the prison, then guides Rick, Daryl, and Oscar back to Woodbury on a rescue mission. The team saves the couple, but Oscar is killed and Daryl is captured. Michonne stays briefly and attempts to slay the Governor, only to kill his undead daughter Penny (whom the Governor had kept chained in a back room of his apartment) and stab him in the eye with some broken glass during a scuffle. In the aftermath, the Governor calls an assembly and publicly accuses Merle of treason, reuniting him with Daryl in front of the angry mob. Rick and Maggie come back and rescue them, but after regrouping outside of town Daryl decides to leave with Merle.

Back at the prison, Carl meets another band of survivors — led by Tyreese — and allows them to take shelter. Rick returns, but while speaking to the newcomers he hallucinates and sees Lori, causing his sanity to crack in front of everyone; Tyreese's group is expelled soon after, but find sanctuary in Woodbury. The Governor and a small team attacks the prison the next day, killing Axel and breaching the outer fence before retreating. Merle and Daryl, having decided to rejoin the group, return and help. Rick goes back to his hometown to gather weapons, where he finds Morgan again — Duane having been killed by his reanimated mother. Morgan, instead of joining Rick, chooses to stay behind. Andrea arranges a meeting between Rick and the Governor, which results in the Governor declaring that there will be peace if Michonne is handed over to him, but secretly preparing to slaughter the prison group anyway. Andrea discovers the plot and attempts to defect to the prison, but is recaptured by the Governor. Merle learns of the deal and, doubting Rick's willingness, kidnaps Michonne on his own; the two talk, and Merle has a change of heart and releases her. He goes on to foil an ambush planned by the Governor, and is killed; Daryl then finds Merle's reanimated body and is forced to kill it.

The Governor stabs his former advisor Milton and leaves him locked in a room with Andrea to die and reanimate. He then leads an assault on the prison, but Rick's group stages an ambush and repels the attack. When the frightened Woodbury soldiers suggest leaving the prison alone, the Governor guns most of them down. Rick, Daryl and Michonne find Karen — the only survivor of the massacre — on their way to Woodbury, who convinces Tyreese and Sasha to allow them in when they arrive. They then find Andrea, who had killed the zombified Milton but was bitten while doing so. Andrea shoots herself in the head with Michonne by her side. The season ends with Rick's group returning to the prison along with the remaining Woodbury survivors, while the Governor remains at large.

List of Characters:

(click the link for the rest of the characters)

Andrew Lincoln as Rick Grimes (Seasons 1-3)

Sarah Wayne Callies as Lori Grimes (Seasons 1-3)

Jon Bernthal as Shane Walsh (Seasons 1-2)

Laurie Holden as Andrea (Seasons 1-3)

Steven Yeun as Glenn (Seasons 1-3)

Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon (Seasons 1-3)

Jeffrey DeMunn as Dale (Seasons 1-2)

Melissa McBride as Carol Peletier (Seasons 1-3)

IronE Singleton as T-Dog (Seasons 1-3)

 Chandler Riggs as Carl Grimes (Seasons 1-3)

Madison Lintz as Sophia Peletier (Seasons 1-2)

Additional Characters for Seasons 2 and 3

Scott Wilson as Hershel Greene (Seasons 2-3)

 Lauren Cohan as Maggie Greene (Seasons 2-3)

 Emily Kinney as Beth Greene (Seasons 2-3)

 David Morrissey as The Governor (Season 3)

 Danai Gurira as Michonne (Season 3)

Michael Rooker as Merle Dixon (Seasons 1, 3)

The Walkers

(but of course the show wouldn't be complete without them)

There you have it guys! I hope you enjoy my post as much as I enjoy watching the walkers~haha. You know me, I'm a sucker of anything zombie so it's no surprise why I'm this 'gaga' over this series. See for yourself and get hooked. Till the next season fellow addicts!

ps.

 Season 4 (2013–14)

It was announced on December 21, 2012 that The Walking Dead has been renewed for a fourth season.Scott Gimple will replace Glen Mazzara as the series' showrunner for the season. The season will premiere in October 2013 and consist of 16 episodes.David Morrissey is set to reprise his role as The Governor, despite an initial one-season contract. A new character named Roy Stark is currently in the process of being cast, and the actor will be a series regular.Melissa McBride, Scott Wilson, Chad Coleman, Sonequa Martin-Green and Emily Kinney will return as series regulars in season 4, and Melissa Ponzio will return as former Woodbury resident Karen in a recurring role.

credits: all photos from google